It wasn’t my fault. No matter how many times I’d told myself those words over the past fifteen years, it didn’t help. The guilt was like a cancer eating at me every day. There were days when I didn’t consciously think about Susie. Those days were rarer than a solar eclipse. And on those nights I’d pay for not allowing her memory to shadow my thoughts. I’d pay with nightmares so horrible that I’d wake up covered in a chilly sweat, a silent scream lodged in my throat. A scream I never had let loose, even at the moment I should have. Even at the moment they took her.

I was tired as I stood, bleary-eyed, at my kitchen window looking out at the blackness. This morning was no different than any other since the men in the white car took Susie that day. I’d spent most of the night in a state somewhere between waking and dreaming. Sleep, which had never come easily, even before that day, was much more elusive now. I suppose what my father always told me was true. I’ll get enough sleep when I’m dead.

It was four-thirty a.m. I had to be at the construction site in an hour. They were calling for a hot one again today. The weather can change within minutes here. This is the North East. There’s a popular saying here: If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes. The last couple of years had been brutal for heat waves, and today was supposed to reach ninety-five degrees with seventy percent humidity. It felt much hotter after working on that black top for twelve hours.

When I opened my front door and stepped outside it was still dark, but my motion light was on. This didn’t alarm me, since many times a cat or rabbit will set it off. I began walking to my car and caught sight of movement on the left side of it, shrouded in shadow. I tensed, freezing in place. Why was this person lurking in the dark next to my car? If they’d been waiting for me, knowing that I usually come out when it’s still dark, they would’ve taken the light bulb out of the motion light. So why was this person here?

“Who the fuck is there?” My voice sounded too loud in my own ears. I don’t talk much and nobody talks to me. So I rarely yell, but when I do it always freaks me out.

A tall figure stepped out of the shadows and into the light. The guy was built, muscles bulging from beneath his t-shirt. A lock of black hair fell over his eyes. He smelled of musk and spice.

A strange combination of fear and excitement raced through me. I stared at him for a moment, dumfounded. If my dream man suddenly materialized before me, it would be this guy. I had no idea why he was here, but shit, he was yummy. Still, I’d kick his ass if I had to. I’d dropped larger men than him over the years. You just have to know where to hurt them. And let’s face it. Men don’t usually lurk in the shadows of a woman’s yard with honorable intentions. Not in my experience, anyway.

“I have to take your car,” he said to me.

I blinked. “What?” My car was nothing special. It was a 1995 Jeep Wrangler. I loved it, but it wasn’t the kind of car a car thief usually targeted. Believe me, I know.

He approached and I dropped down and reached for the knife strapped to my lower leg.

“Whoa,” he said, palms facing outward. Slowly he pulled a piece of paper from inside his leather coat pocket. “Parker’s Repossession Services, ma’am. You are Leah Ryan, right?”

“Yes.” Repossession services? Had it been that long since I’d made a car payment?

He stayed where he was, his hands still held up as if I were robbing him. “I need the keys to your car ... please.”

I couldn’t believe the guy was actually going to take my car from me. “What if I don’t give you the keys?”

“Then I’ll have to take it my way.” He tilted his head toward the street behind me.

A black tow truck sat against the curb. A light flicked on inside the truck and a wiry man wearing a fedora smiled and gave a little wave. He had to love that hat to be wearing it in this heat.

I groaned. Money had been tight lately for a lot of reasons. I made good money doing construction, but it still didn’t cover it. I reached into my pocket and tossed him the keys.

He caught them in one hand, those almond eyes moving over me for a moment. Then he nodded slightly and left without another word.

As pissed off as I was, I still couldn’t help admiring his butt as he walked away from me. Man. He was wearing those Levis.

And he was taking my Jeep.

Jerk.